3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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