I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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