he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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