flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
