Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
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how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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