If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
