I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
