Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
