Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As shirtless as possible
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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