Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
