You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things