1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?