how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse