Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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