So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
