Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
this hospital has no fireball
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
