He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
