i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
