Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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