is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
