So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
