As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
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new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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