Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
