I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
