He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
