I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
