she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
