What did we do last night that was yellow?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
