If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
we should paint friendship bongs
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