You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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