we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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