on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
