id be glad to
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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