I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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