we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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