tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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