so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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