every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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