Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
