just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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