Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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