the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sorry about my life...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
