Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is Oprah even human
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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