I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
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I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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