In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Who died my cat blue again?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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