why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
