i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
