ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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