i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They took my balls.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
