Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
