yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
