I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this boner is exhausting
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
