Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
