the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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