I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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