this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
