Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
