Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
