My Higher Power is John Stamos
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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