If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
