your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
two words...techno handjob
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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