try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
