i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
