Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
