Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just gift wrapped bread.
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If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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