I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
