I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
