they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
