i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
