do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
