she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
